When I drive through my hometown, it feels as if each corner triggers a memory (or twenty-two memories) of its own. As I pass by the Fosters Freeze on Main Street, I remember the countless vanilla shakes I enjoyed in the company of dear friends in the summertime. As I go by my favorite breakfast place, I think of the smiley face birthday pancakes I had when I turned sixteen. As I pull into my driveway, I look up the street at the house of my high school sweetheart and reminisce the years I called it my second home.
However, not all memories are so sweet. There are times when I feel haunted by my past. I suddenly vividly remember my deepest, darkest, ugliest moments of sin and feel my heart break all over again. I hear the familiar sound of Satan’s condemning whisper in my ear, “Nice show, Kayti. I bet you’ve even convinced yourself that you’re different. BUT YOU’RE NOT. You are and will always be the same dirty, rotten, selfish little girl.”
Here’s the thing. Satan will tell me that I am depraved. And to an extent, he’s right. Apart from Christ, I am utterly wicked. What he does not remind me, though, is that I am fully forgiven and fully loved by a God who, fully perfect, suffered, died, and rose again so that I could be freed from my wickedness and welcomed into new, true, and everlasting life.
Although I can still see scars from the shackles that once bound me to my sin, I can celebrate the freedom I now have in the victory of the cross. On the cross, Christ conquered my past, present, and future sins. He did not die so that I would be overcome by shame and guilt. He died to rescue me from the darkness and bring me into His light. He mercifully continues to turn my attention from my depravity to His amazing love and grace.
I will have my moments of weakness.
I will sin.
Satan will be there, but so will my Father. And rather than condemnation, He will whisper sweet words of redemption.
“For we know that our old self was crucified with him so that the body ruled by sin might be done away with, that we should no longer be slaves to sin—because anyone who has died has been set free from sin. Now if we died with Christ, we believe that we also live with him. ”
– Romans 6:6-8