Singleness: Season of Grace

God has chosen, before the foundation of the world, to rescue his people through the sacrifice of His Son and to purchase a people who love him, know him, and gladly submit to his loving kingship.

Marriage is a reflection, a picture of this reality. I take joy in the fact that God didn’t put Adam and Eve together in marriage and then say to himself, “This will be a good picture of the gospel.” Instead, he always had the gospel in mind, and uses marriage to display that. This reminds me that all of life is about God and His plan, not marriage.

Marriage displays the gospel to the world and brings God glory. This is done by the sacrificial laying down of the husband’s life for the wife and the wife’s glad submission to her husband. Singleness also displays the gospel to the world, just differently. It shows that our identity is in Christ and that he is sufficient–we don’t need boys, babies, and marriage to have worth, value, and fulfillment.

It is clear that singleness provides a lot of advantages. I can enjoy the season of life the Lord has clearly called me to and I can invest in people, discipleship, and others without any restrictions. I am learning to believe that singleness is not a curse, but a season of grace. I also find hope in the fact that marriage is only temporary and singleness is eternal. There will not be marriage forever, but we will all be single in heaven.

So, presently I find myself learning to hope and trust that God will not lead me to the edge of a cliff, or leave me to writhe in the disappointment of unfulfilled desire. I am praying for grace to hope and believe that he won’t dash all my desires and dreams.

Yet, I am wrestling with the fact that when God loves us it doesn’t mean he gives us all the desires of our hearts. When he loves us it’s that he is ruthlessly committed to us and we cannot make him unfaithful to us, despite our faithlessness.

This is heavy as I contemplate the implication that I may live a life of unfulfilled desire. A life with no companionship, of never giving my life to someone in the covenant of marriage, never bearing and raising my own children, never knowing the intimacy of “one-ness”, and long nights of tears and loneliness. I have to believe and trust that whether or not that’s my lot in life, God is ruthlessly committed to sustaining me and giving me himself.

How can I ask for anything more?


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