I hate dating. There, I said it. It’s a lot of effort to put yourself “out there” only to be either paraded around or reminded that you don’t measure up to someone else’s standards. Both parties are putting their best foot forward and quite honestly will probably end up being completely different people once they’re married. If you’re brave enough to go for it and you end up facing rejection it can be a lot like preparation for a divorce. You use words like “ex” and you have to emotionally cut off everything that reminds you or associates you from that person.
With all of that said, I’m not against it. It’s just not all fun, rainbows, and fairy tales. I was exchanging emails with a friend who recently went through a break-up and realized that I have learned a few lessons on how to handle break-ups. Some of these came from mistakes I made and learning the hard way, but hopefully they will be ways to protect you from running over the land mines I found myself gallivanting through. Going through a break-up sucks, but there is great purpose in all the pain. Remind yourself that God can take broken things and heal them, he can take ashes and turn them into beauty.
1. Cling to God’s word above your own and above the words of the enemy.
The enemy loves to attack at the point of our desires. And you will hear his voice often. He will get you to focus on what God hasn’t given you and will do anything he can to get you to doubt the goodness of your Father. Identify the lies and combat them with Scripture.
2. Let God’s word be your comfort, your counselor, your friend, your pillow to rest your head.
It’s amazing how quickly our memory fails us.
3. Have lots of people around you that love you.
Share your pains and struggles and let people love you through this time. Sometimes it’s hard to feel God’s love tangibly, but one way he does allow us to feel his love is through his people.
4. Associate yourself with your King more than you associate yourself with your ex.
Be reminded of your worth, honor, and value that comes from your association with Jesus–this trumps all shame, rejection, etc.
5. Keep track of your mind.
I made this mistake and let myself drown in all the “what-ifs.” I did this so much that I created a fake person in my head, who wasn’t like my ex-boyfriend at all. And this “person” will always let you down and will never love you.
6. Trust that God has someone better.
I know it sounds cliché and I hated when people would tell me that, but I believe it honors God. Trusting God is a way of saying that he is wise enough to be raising someone else up, powerful enough to put them in your life, and sovereign enough to make your paths cross. Honor him by trusting Him.