I was engaged for 77 days.
Here are my top 5 lessons from my 77-day engagement:
5. Delegate as much as you can.
I hadn’t been dreaming of my wedding day since the age of 5, but I totally got sucked into commercialism when it came to planning it. We live in a world where options are endless, and it contributes to us being more indecisive and more stressed than ever. For things you have a strong opinion about, do it yourself; but if making certain decisions just stresses you out, hand it off to a trusted friend. Your wedding is just a day. Budget wisely, delegate strategically, and make quick decisions. Your marriage is far more important to prepare for than your wedding.
4. Write your vows early.
I’m the idiot bride who wrote her vows the night before her wedding. I was tired, I couldn’t remember at that point why I even wanted to get married, and I was emotionally and relationally pooped (i.e. specifically, it was my conversation with my dad + sobbing + best friend from East Coast coming to visit + a variety of other things). Anyway, if I were to go back and do it again, I would have written my vows shortly after I got engaged. Write your vows early.
3. Get counseling.
As mentioned in point 1, your marriage is far more important to prepare for than your wedding day. Having another set of eyes on your relationship to help you navigate your relationship the best gift in the history of ever. Chad and I got counseling from our pastor & his wife (insert shameless plug for his book, Date Your Wife), and it was both fun and fruitful. Find a trusted couple. Get counseling.
2. Stay focused.
The world doesn’t revolve around you, but satan will tempt you otherwise. Stay in community, “set your minds on things that are above, not things that are on earth” (Colossians 3:2), and remember things of eternal importance.
1. Have fun.
Regardless of whether you have a 77-day engagement or a 77-year engagement (though hopefully not), have fun. Your wedding will not be perfect, nor will your marriage, but it’ll be a glorious and beautiful thing as two become one. Your engagement period with your future spouse only comes around once (Lord willing). Enjoy it!