“It is better to live in a corner of the housetop than in a house shared with a quarrelsome wife.”
“It is better to live in a desert land than with a quarrelsome and fretful woman.”
“A continual dripping on a rainy day and a quarrelsome wife are alike.”
– Proverbs 21:9, 19; Proverbs 27:15
The Bible is clear: It’s better to die than live with an annoying wife.
Unfortunately, that is one of many things I understand in my head: obedience, discernment, love, grace… and on and on I could go.
Real life doesn’t always–and on some days, doesn’t at all–reflect the truths I proclaim or the gospel I preach. The frequency in which I say one thing and do another is embarrassing, and it comes out especially in my interactions with Chad (probably because he’s the person I interact with the most).
Chad is a man who loves Jesus, leads well, and though he hasn’t yet found a love for vegetables, he has found a love for me in spite of me.
But of course, I forget that. I nag him, pick fights with him, nitpick at his imperfections… and even worse, I try to drag him down with me into sin when he stands his ground, is gracious, and forgives me. I push him until he stumbles too rather than receive his love for me and own up to my sin. I’m like an anti-helpmate, seeking my identity in perfection, performance, and self-perceived superiority rather than in Jesus Christ; my pride is disgusting.
I am not proud of my immaturity, nor can I speak as though I’ve progressed further than simply confessing my sin and repenting. But I did feel compelled to share with you my confession because it is so freeing to speak (or write) of it believing that my failure does not define me, and that Jesus does.
(I also figured it would be helpful to refer back to my sane thoughts the next time I am deceived in my messed up little mind, so I publicly give you permission, Chad, to use this against me next time I’m crazy. :))