The Lord has been teaching me to enjoy time with my (non-Christian, immediate & extended) family. I have a tendency to think that every chance I get to see them is the last one I have, so I err on the being preachy, crying & begging people to know Jesus, rather than listen to Jesus and consider the fact that he might be telling me to shut up and relax; that he’s got it under control and that he is with (at work in, through, and for) me.
…I guess basically what I’m learning that I am an outspoken, emotional, worrying prick who would rather act on how I feel than how I am commanded to at any given moment. I’m learning on a whole new level that I don’t listen to God, don’t trust God, and that I am a sinner who desperately needs grace.
Last month on Mother’s Day, as I wept and despaired over my mom not knowing Jesus, God reminded me (through my unbelieving mom!), “I know you want me to believe in Jesus, but I don’t. Since [God] can do whatever he wants, he will also make me believe if he wants. Why don’t you trust him with my life and stop worrying so much?”*
Needless to say, her words stuck with me. What I’ve come to realize (slowly but surely) is that I have preached the gospel explicitly, multiple times, to my family; and that the best way I can love my unbelieving family in this season is to stop stressing out about their salvation, pray for the Holy Spirit to intervene, and love their socks off.
So in the month of June I’ve had the chance to practice this newfound method with my immediate family. I got to take my mom out on a brunch “date” a few weekends ago, and Chad and I took our dads & Elaine out for an Early Father’s Day Adventure in the city. Some of my in-laws even mentioned that I’ve been “the most relaxed” I’ve ever been in my time with them.
What an evidence of grace. Thank you Jesus!
*This statement is paraphrased, but my mom has pretty solid theology.